How can a man get styled hair without it being shiny and crunchy?

Ive been using gel for a few years now and I have never really liked my hair. If I dont put anything in my hair it poofs and frizzes up, and when I put gel in my hair it makes it shiny, crunchy, and see-through which is almost as bad as the poof. Is there some special thing to do to get hair like the people in these photos?

Can someone please tell me how to gel my hair so It dosent look gel’d?

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